


I've Built My Dreams Around You

by Nadja_Lee



Series: Broken Angel [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Broken Alec Lightwood, Dark, Dark Love, Dark Magnus Bane, Dom Magnus Bane, Dom/sub, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Oral Sex, Possessive Magnus Bane, Prince of Hell Magnus Bane, Protective Magnus Bane, Punishment, Rough Oral Sex, Sex, Smut, Sub Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-24 20:21:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22363897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/pseuds/Nadja_Lee
Summary: Magnus and Alec talk about how their new D/s relationship would work, Alec's healing process and resolve some outstanding issues.So in other words; there's some rough possessive Malec smut in here.[Part 3 of Broken Angel: A dark possessive Malec love story]
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Broken Angel [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1602028
Comments: 56
Kudos: 984





	I've Built My Dreams Around You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Herbeloved82](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Herbeloved82/gifts).



> Thanks much to my great beta Cindy for all her help!  
> Thanks so much to Regina Danica Villa Bibit for the amazing series banner.  
> Story warnings: D/s relationship, punishment, mental health issues, oral sex, contracts, dark love (love but not precisely normal or healthy love here as Alec just agrees with everything!)

_See chapter notes for detailed warnings_

# I've built my dreams around you

The next morning they were sitting at the dining table in morning robes; Alec’s having been conjured by Magnus. During breakfast they had spoken about light things; nothing personal.

“Alexander, I would like to talk about what happened between us,” Magnus said seriously as he sipped his coffee, finally addressing the elephant in the room.

Feeling this conversation needed a boost Magnus conjured up mimosas for them both.

“I would rather not,” Alec insisted as he drowned half of his mimosa for courage as he was certain Magnus would talk about it anyway.

The Hell he had gone through after their breakup had taught Alec the usefulness of alcohol and he barely felt any burn; the alcohol percentage in the champagne too little for his now more experienced palate to register it.

Magnus raised an eyebrow at him as he took a sip of his own drink, noticing the clear change in Alec’s approach to alcohol since their breakup as he with a wave of his hand refilled his glass for him.

“I think we should,” Magnus insisted, an edge of steel in his voice that made it clear he was going to no matter what Alec felt on the matter.

Alec rolled his eyes, having expected Magnus would ignore his protests.

“Fine. What do you want to talk about?” Alec asked with a guarded expression.

Magnus was silent for a moment, reflective.

“I understand, from a strategic perspective, why you didn’t tell me about the Soul Sword and I know you didn’t **mean** to betray me,” Magnus said slowly, honestly.

Alec nodded eagerly; relieved Magnus understood that now. “Yes.”

“That doesn’t mean it changes how I feel about it,” Magnus admitted, something between hurt and a warning in his tone.

“I didn’t break up with you for that specific episode alone but more what that episode told me about you,” Magnus continued.

Alec gave him a puzzled look as he finished his drink. Magnus did a hand movement and refilled it again, this time refilling his own too as he had also finished his glass.

“Then why?” Alec asked puzzled, fighting to control the pain talking about this caused him. He suddenly wished Magnus had chosen something stronger to drink than mimosas. Like whiskey wouldn’t be out of the way if they were going to talk about why he hadn’t been good enough; why Magnus had left him.

“It’s a very long story revolving around past betrayal,” Magnus admitted, his eyes hard as he spoke as a flicker of pain clouded his eyes as he recalled how past lovers had betrayed him. “I have tried being number two in a relationship and I don’t want that.”

“You will always be number one for me,” Alec reassuring him quickly, his voice certain and matter of fact.

“If it comes to a choice between the world and the one they love Nephilim always choose the world,” Magnus said darkly, sadly. “And I am selfish enough to want to be chosen first. Always.”

“I would choose **you** ,” Alec insisted, his voice insisting and his eyes pleading with him to believe him. “I don’t need the world.”

Magnus scanned his face, considering his words.

“Yes, yes, I believe you would, **now** , do that,” Magnus agreed thoughtfully. “I don’t think you would have done it before.”

Before their break-up Alec had been every bit the self-sacrificing Nephilim, always willing to do what was needed. He was different now; raw, broken…real.

“That is why I think this will work,” Magnus said slowly, smiling, his expression fond and relieved.

Had he finally found a partner that could and would be everything he had ever wanted? Someone would could satisfy even his darkest and most selfish needs and desires? When he had met Alec, so innocent and pure, he had spoken to a part of him, a human part, that wanted to protect and care. However, he had been certain Alec would never be able to understand nor respond to his dark and demonic needs for dominance and power. Yet here they were, and Alec was speaking to all parts of him. His need to care for and protect and his desire for power and dominance. Alec was giving him all of himself so freely and willingly Magnus was almost drowning in the sensations.

“I will do anything you wish as long as we are together,” Alec readily agreed as he finished another mimosa and shifted in his chair to try and get more comfortable, having lost count on the amount of times he had done that since they had sat down for breakfast.

Magnus looked questioningly at him, a hint of worry in his eyes. “Are you in pain?”

Alec considered lying but then remembered their talk yesterday and decided to be honest.

“A little. It’s not bad,” Alec settled with, looking down into his own empty glass and was relieved when it was magically refilled again.

That was true enough. He had had a lot worse. His whole body felt weak, achy, and slightly bruised but it wasn’t painful and he didn’t want to lose that feeling as it made him feel loved. His ass, however, felt really sore and made sitting uncomfortable.

Magnus did a hand movement and healing blue energy swept through him. Alec almost sighed in relief as he felt better at once, the ache in his ass completely gone.

“There,” Magnus said softly, almost tenderly as he looked at him.

“Thank you,” Alec said warmly, mesmerised by the tenderness in his gaze, having lost count how many times since they had broken up where he had dreamed of this, wished to see him look at him like this.

“You didn’t remove your marks though, did you?” he asked with a hint of worry. He liked having a proof of Magnus’ affection on his body. It made him feel calm and loved.

“No, don’t worry. I left those,” Magnus reassured him, his voice rough and possessive, loving that Alec wanted them there.

Magnus reached out a hand and lovingly traced the bruises and hickeys he had left around Alec’s neckline like a necklace.

“You do look beautiful covered in my marks,” Magnus admitted softly, a hint of heat in his words.

“I love seeing them in the mirror,” Alec admitted softly as he touched a particularly large bruise left on top of his deflect rune.

Magnus withdrew his hand and gave him a more serious look.

“You should have told me you were in pain,” Magnus said with a hint in reprimand in his tone.

“Sorry,” Alec said sheepishly, blushing in embarrassment.

“Why didn’t you?” Magnus asked, more curiosity and a need to understand than anger in his voice.

Alec shrugged, looking down as he in a small voice said, “I didn’t want to be a bother. It wasn’t important.”

Magnus shook his head and put a hand on Alec’s chin, forcing his head up to look at him.

“Alexander, your pain is always important to me,” Magnus said seriously.

Then he released his hold on his chin and added with clear emotions in his voice, “That I am able and willing to give it doesn’t mean I want you to suffer like this.”

Alec nodded, a lump in his throat, feeling overwhelmed by hearing that, “Thank you.”

Magnus smiled, soft, warm and bright and Alec couldn’t help but smile back, feeling like he had just been blessed by a God.

“Now, before we talk about the contracts I want to explain how I see this working going forward,” Magnus said in a more serious tone.

Alec nodded, his expression a bit guarded. He would agree to anything Magnus asked of him if it meant he got to stay but was still a bit nervous and unsure how this was all going to work.

“Ok,” Alec said hesitantly.

“You are on sick leave from the Institute. I told them the demon poison takes several months to get out of your system so they won’t expect you back at work for the foreseeable future and if we need more time after that I am certain I can come up with a convincing lie about further complications,” Magnus said with a superior smirk.

It was good to be one of the top expert on demons; it meant the Clave had to accept Magnus’ judgement.

Alec paled a bit, looking anxiously at him. “Months? What about Jace and Izzy and…”

“Don’t worry about them. They will be fine,” Magnus said with a dismissive hand gesture. “You outed the generals and officials in Idris loyal to Valentine so when Valentine went to Idris to call for the Angel he was killed in battle. I think you can take a short break.”

Alec both felt relieved and upset that he wasn’t needed. “Oh. Ok.”

“So on that note then for the next six months I want you to focus on getting better,” Magnus said seriously, worry and tenderness in his gaze.

“But…I **am** better. I am here with you,” Alec insisted, feeling oddly defensive and embarrassed at hearing that.

“Yes but it won’t be enough,” Magnus said firmly. “I have spoken with Catarina this morning before you woke up. She has helped set up appointments for you starting tomorrow with a psychologist and a psychiatrist. The doctors are Mundanes so you will have to use Mundane metaphors.”

Alec looked confused at him. “A what?” Doctors? He wasn’t ill. He didn’t need doctors.

Magnus ignored him so completely Alec was left to wonder if he had even spoken aloud.

“You will see both regularly; the psychologist several times a week while the psychiatrist will be less when she has found the right drugs for you….which may be challenging with Angel blood or might not. Neither Catarina nor I have any previous knowledge of Shadowhunters on medication; your kind has a very unhealthy do or die attitude,” Magnus finished his explanation, an annoyed look and slight frown on his face.

“I don’t need medication. I’m not ill,” Alec insisted, confused.

Magnus took a deep breath, trying to explain mental health treatment to someone who had grown up in a warrior culture where such issues were never discussed was challenging to say the least. If Idris had in fact addressed mental health issues then maybe Valentine hadn’t happened.

“Alexander, I suggested this type of relationship so we both could feel secure and safe in the knowledge neither would leave or betray the other,” Magnus said matter of fact, trying to temper his worry and concern for Alec’s mental health with a more neutral explanation, not sure his concern would be the best approach at the moment.

“I didn’t suggest it so you could continue being self destructive and just have it be done to you instead of inflicting the pain yourself,” Magnus added in a warning tone.

Alec blushed a bit at that but then said the first thing that came to mind, his voice small and pestilent, almost whiny, like a child that had been promised candy and now felt the promise was coming with more rules and requirements that originally agreed, “But….You said if I needed it…”

Magnus nodded, his expression serious, “Yes, and I will but the whole point is for you to become less self destructive and find a more productive outlet.”

“Like sex?” Alec added, hope and beginning lust in his voice, thinking of last night.

“As long as it’s with me I think that could work,” Magnus agreed with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. As soon as he had said it he realized he shouldn’t have.

“Who else would it be with? I only ever want you,” Alec said annoyed.

“I know. I only want you too,” Magnus quickly reassured him and Alec’s anger disappeared and he smiled.

“Thank you,” Alec said softly, unsure what precisely he was thanking him for. Likely just that he wanted him.

Magnus smiled fondly and stroked Alec’s cheek tenderly and Alec leaned into the touch eagerly. Then Magnus removed his hand.

“Moving forward it’s very important that you are honest with me, Alexander,” he reminded him seriously.

Alec nodded. “I am.”

“What I mean is that you can’t let me **ever** truly hurt you. That is not what I want. If you want punishment then tell me that is what you want. Don’t try and goad me into it. And use your safe word if I misjudge your limits and needs,” Magnus said with a hint of fear clouding his eyes.

Alec nodded, speechless from the care he heard in his voice. He had thought he would never hear that again and he would do anything to keep hearing it.

Magnus took a deep breath and a tortured look appeared in his eyes, “And very importantly; you need to tell me if you feel like hurting yourself so we can find a solution. It is vital for me that you can promise me that. Can you?”

The naked need and hurt in Magnus’ face had Alec struggling to speak.

“I….I might struggle at times but I promise to try. Just…” Alec paused, hesitant, fear clear in his eyes and face. “Please…don’t throw me out if I make a mistake.”

“Darling, I never would,” Magnus insisted strongly. “That’s why there’s punishments, remember? If we do this I **never** want to be apart from you again. Up to and including that I want to find a way for you to become immortal so you can be mine forever.”

Alec smiled in pure joy and contentment at hear that. Together with Magnus; forever. What more could he ask for?

“I would love that,” Alec said softly, shyly.

Magnus smiled happily, his smile so bright Alec felt it was almost blinding and it made him feel warm all over.

Magnus pulled himself together and asked, “So, do you want to do this? Do you want me to take care of you?”

Alec nodded eagerly, still a bit shy, still fearing this wasn’t real but being honest in his need all the same in the hope it was true, “Yes. I would love that.”

“I would love that too,” Magnus said fondly, clearly pleased with the answer. Magnus gave him a piercing look as he added sternly, “Just promise me **never** to do anything like this again. I couldn’t bear to lose you or see you so cut up, inside and out, ever again.”

Alec knew he was referring to the scars he had seen on his body, his suicide attempt as he had allowed the demon to cut him, hoping it would have killed him.

Thinking of the pleasure and peace he had found just knowing Magnus was near and wanted him Alec smiled reassuringly as he said, “As long as I have you then I can promise that.”

“Then you will have me forever,” Magnus vowed, his voice thin with emotions.

“Thank you,” Alec said heartfelt.

“Now that that’s settled,” Magnus said with a satisfied smile as he summoned forth two contracts and they appeared on the table before them. Alec eyed them curiously.

“What do you think, Alexander?” Magnus asked, waving his hand towards the contract in front of Alec to indicate he should start reading it.

“It’s….it’s actually a contract,” Alec asked a bit stunned as he hesitantly started to flip pages in it.

“Yes. What did you expect?” Magnus asked with some amusement as he summoned a Bloody Mary and downed half of it.

Despite Alec’s reassurances their talk about his self-harm and pain was still very difficult for Magnus though he knew he couldn’t show it. He had to be strong for Alec.

“There are blank spaces in here for my chores’ list,” Alec pointed out because he didn’t know what else to say.

He would have a chores list? He hadn’t had that since he was a child. He both found it calming and frustrating.

“It’s for the tasks your doctors will give you,” Magnus explained. At Alec’s puzzled look Magnus explained, “Like maybe keeping a diary of your thoughts or painting what you feel.”

“I don’t know,” Alec admitted, feeling lost and out of his depth here.

Alec frowned a bit when he saw the contract seemed to refer to Magnus as Master and he also noticed that while Magnus had quite a few hard limits – all of which seemed quite extreme and he was happy to agree with them as hard limits, his own hard limits simply referred to Magnus’ list.

“Is there anything in there you want to change?” Magnus asked, giving him an intense look.

Alec shrugged, not sure what to even look for or pay attention to.

“Well, this is just a list of what I should do and punishments if I don’t,” Alec said a bit confused as he read it.

The contract even detailed things like house chores and how much time he got in the gym he noticed, when to kneel – which seemed to basically be all the time – and whether he was allowed on the furniture. The rules seemed a bit silly to him but easy enough to follow. He just needed to do this and Magnus would never leave him? Would it really be that simple? It couldn’t be that easy! He felt a wave of peace and calm just thinking about it. He did this and Magnus would be happy with him and never leave him. That was all he ever wanted.

“Yes?” Magnus asked with a raised eyebrow, urging him to continue.

“Well, could we add in the contract what I get if I’m good?” Alec asked with what he hoped was a seductive look.

“Like rewards?”

Alec nodded as he said a bit shyly, “Yes but mostly…you know.”

Alec nodded towards Magnus, wanting to make it clear his reward should be that Magnus stayed. He did good and Magnus stayed; forever. Seemed like a great deal to him. He would do anything for that.

“Alexander, I don’t know. That’s why there’s a whole paragraph relating to you actually speaking,” Magnus reminded him with a hint of annoyance and frustration.

“Fine!” Alec said in a defeated and irritated tone.

Shouldn’t Magnus just know this? It would be so much easier.

“Pet, you are seriously starting to give me a headache!” Magnus said in a warning tone, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

Magnus wanted nothing more than to just know what Alec wanted but he couldn’t read minds; this was ridiculous. He needed to speak to him.

Alec glared at him, annoyed at his inability to know what he wanted. “And so what?”

“Alexander, do not tempt me,” Magnus warned, clearly about to lose patience.

But Alec wanted him to lose his temper, wanted him to lose his control. Wanted him to show he cared. So he pushed on and gave him a pretend dismissive gesture.

When Alec spoke it was with pure venom and more hidden pain and hurt than he had thought he had had left, “As if you care. Aren’t you gonna run and leave again?”

“Alexander, that’s enough!” Magnus warned, his voice echoing off the walls, his Warlock Mark coming exposed.

But it wasn’t enough. After all the shit Alec had been through was it really too much to ask for Magnus to just lose his temper a little bit? To just appear as if he gave a fuck?!

“Fuck you! You left me!” Alec spat, rage and pain and agony running through him like fire.

Magnus’ eyes narrowed dangerously. He was aware what Alec was doing, how he was baiting him. He wanted punishment, he wanted him angry? Fine! So be it!

“Let’s start with you not speaking till I let you. Wouldn’t that be refreshing?” Magnus asked sweetly but with an edge of danger and darkness as he made a hand gesture and suddenly magic stole Alec’s voice.

Alec’s lips were moving but no sound came out. Alec looked at him in surprise, shock and anger.

“Nod if you understand,” Magnus demanded harshly and Alec nodded even though he was still annoyed.

Magnus’ display of power had managed to calm Alec down a little, he closed his mouth, and looked up at him expectantly, hopeful maybe he did care, maybe he did have emotions invested in all of this after all.

“Good boy,” Magnus praised as Alec’s lips stayed together.

Wanting to push him further just to see what he would do, if he really cared, Alec rolled his eyes at him and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Now, such insolence can’t go unpunished, now can it?” Magnus mused, his cat eyes clouded with emotions and his voice filled with dark promise.

Alec simply glared at him but felt a hint of nervousness yet also excitement. Maybe he really did care.

“But let’s see if you understand what precisely you are about to be punished for,” Magnus mused darkly.

Magnus made a hand gesture and Alec gasped when suddenly his voice was back.

“You can talk now,” Magnus allowed generously, a clear hint of power and control in his eyes.

“Speaking back?” Alec questioned, tasting the words and his own voice on his tongue. Felt weird after having lost it for a few minutes.

At Magnus’s raised eyebrow Alec added, unsure if this was why Magnus looked displeased but he could just as well try it, “Sir?”

Magnus nodded, letting his slip up go with a wave of his hand, “Partly but what has been our main problem since the beginning?”

“I…I wasn’t honest?” Alec got out, hesitantly, looking down in embarrassment.

“Precisely!” Magnus said with a triumphant look. He took a bruising grip on Alec’s chin and forced him to meet his gaze.

“Now, how do we suitably punish liars?” Magnus asked in a dark voice.

“I’m not…” Alec started to protest but then quickly fell silent when he saw the fury in Magnus’ cat eyes.

“Such a disobedient little pup,” Magnus mused, releasing his grip on chin, his fingers leaving red marks from how hard he had been holding on to him. “Do you know what happens to disobedient pups?”

Alec blushed red; Magnus knew he hated being called ‘pup’.

“I…Don’t,” Alec admitted weakly, licking suddenly dry lips. He had wanted him mad; well, he sure seemed mad now.

“They get smacked,” Magnus said threateningly, answering his own question.

Before Alec had time to react he had pulled him over to him and down into his lap, his head over one side of his legs and his legs on the other, his ass sticking up into the air. There had definitely been some magic involved in that maneuver, Alec thought, but before he could try and get up magic was holding him firmly in place.

“What…” Alec started to ask, feeling nervous as humiliation started to color his cheeks.

He hadn’t been over someone’s knee for punishment for years, not since he had been a child. His father had hit hard; Alec briefly wondered if Magnus would hit harder. Before he had time to ponder it he felt Magnus push aside his robe and pull down his underwear. Without warning he felt the first hit as Magnus’ hand made contact with his asscheeks. The humiliation and the heat from the hit made him cry out.

“Ouch!” Alec got out, fighting to breathe. He wasn’t sure if the pain or the humiliation was worse.

“I think 50 should be enough,” Magnus remarked conversationally.

“50?” Alec paled as he turned so he could look into Magnus’ face. At Magnus’ raised eyebrow he added, “Sir?”

“You did try and start a fight here on purpose. Furthermore, throughout this whole Soul Sword event then despite your messages to me in beginning of it, you never once tried to tell me you were hurting nor that you were injured yourself and letting other men touch you!” Magnus reminded him in an infuriated voice.

However, it was the pain in his voice and eyes that did Alec in; he had really hurt him by hurting himself.

Alec sank before saying meekly, “I….50 sounds fine, Sir.”

Magnus’ eyes narrowed.

“I will only stop if you safe word. You remember it from last night?” Magnus asked darkly and Alec nodded, his mouth suddenly dry.

“Yes, Sir,” he got out.

Magnus nodded in satisfaction.

“Count,” he ordered harshly.

Alec winced at the sting when his hand made contact with his flesh again but it was also creating a weird warm feeling all over his ass, helped along by Magnus smoothing it out after the hit.

“Two,” Alec got out.

Magnus shook his head and hushed at him.

“One, pup. The first was before you counted,” he corrected him, his voice almost sweet, mischief in his eyes.

 _Bastard_ , Alec thought but not without fondness. How he had missed his Prince of Hell.

“One, Sir,” Alec dutifully corrected his count.

“Good, little pup,” Magnus praised him, his voice strong but holding a teasing edge.

 _Fuck you!_ Alec thought and the thought only heightened the beginning arousal. The last few months had made pain and pleasure mix and the pleasure of being near Magnus combined with the pain from the hits on his ass made him aware he was getting hard. He tried to ignore it and just hoped Magnus wouldn’t feel it against his thigh.

When Alec had worked his way up to twelve Magnus seemed to notice his arousal.

“Are you enjoying this, pup?” Magnus asked with an amused yet dangerous tone.

Alec shook his head quickly, embarrassed.

“No! I…” Alec denied hotly, fighting to come up with some excuse.

Magnus took a hard grip on his chin and forced his face around so he was looking at him. His fingernails were drawing blood, so hard was his grip on his face. Alec winced slightly but didn’t move, simply looked up at him with arousal, nervousness and an eagerness to please.

“Pup! Do not lie to me. You won’t like the consequences!” Magnus warned sharply, his eyes shining dangerously with the gleam of Edom’s fire.

“I…I don’t know. I…maybe,” Alec admitted, biting his lower lip until it bled.

“Well, we can’t have that, now can we?” Magnus asked evilly, smirking.

Alec sank. “We can’t…Sir?”

“This is punishment, Alexander. Not pleasure. It is not meant to be fun,” Magnus reminded him as he let go of his face, leaving bloody marks behind.

Alec nodded. “Yes, Sir,” he agreed quietly.

“Let’s try….this,” Magnus declared after some thought, making a riding crop appear in his hand. Alec’s eyes widened when he saw it; fuck. That would indeed be punishment.

“Shit!” Alec swore loudly as the whip hit his exploded buttocks, leaving a trail of fire. His arousal was gone instantly; this was indeed punishment.

“What was that, pup?” Magnus taunted.

“Thirteen, Sir,” Alec got out, his voice strained from him fighting not to scream from the surprised fire brought on by the first hit.

“Good boy,” Magnus praised and Alec felt renewed desire to do this and do it well. He could take this punishment.

When they had just passed 38 hits Alec wasn’t sure he could take it any longer. His ass was a bloody and bruised mess and he had long since giving up saying anything except counting. He wasn’t screaming, he could still hold that in, but each hit left him whimpering in a pitiful voice he barely recognized as his own.

“39. Sir…I….I don’t think I can…” Alec mumbled, his voice pained and strained.

He could feel the blood running from the cuts the whip had left on his ass and everything stung and hurt. He was really regretting having edged Magnus on now. In the future he would know he meant business. Alec guessed that was why Magnus was doing this. So Alec would learn and could avoid punishments in the future.

“You can take it,” Magnus ordered sharply, his voice sounding rough and as if he was holding back emotions himself.

Alec fought to pull himself together, wiping sweat from his forehead with a shaky hand as he tried to lay more comfortable over Magnus’ lap.

“Yes, Sir,” he acknowledged in a low voice, fighting to control the pain.

The next hit fell, making Alec shake with the painful vibrations.

“What number was that, pup?” Magnus asked softly.

“40,” Alec got out, his voice pained and low.

“Good boy,” Magnus praised, his voice almost soft, almost tender.

The praise made Alec nearly lightheaded and for a moment he forgot about the pain. He could do this.

By the time Alec said 50 he felt downright delirious, tears staining his cheeks from the pain and the humiliation, fighting to hang on.

“Shh….Such a good boy. So good for me,” Magnus cooed softly as he helped Alec to the floor, sliding down from his chair with him. He did a hand movement and magic healed the worst of the burn in Alec’s ass and stopped the bleeding.

Alec took a deep breath of relief, the magic making it easier to sit on the floor. Feeling raw and needy Alec eagerly fell into Magnus’ embrace when he opened his arms. He laid his head against Magnus’ shoulder and enjoyed feeling Magnus’ arms around his torso.

“I…Did it?” Alec rasped softly, his voice hoarse from the whimpering noises he had been making.

He was sure both his lip and tongue were bleeding from him biting them to stop himself from screaming. He felt ridiculous that this pain seemed so overpowering when he as a Shadowhunter had fought battles and had had much worse injuries.

Magnus nodded, holding him, his voice, his face and eyes filled with emotions.

“Yes, you did, darling,” Magnus said tenderly, lovingly, as he kissed the top of his head.

“I….I’m forgiven?” Alec asked softly, hopefully, his voice still hoarse and weak, feeling immense pride at hearing Magnus’ words.

“Come, drink this,” Magnus urged as he with a wave of his hand conjured up a glass of water and put it in Alec’s hands.

Seeing how Alec’s hands were shaking slightly Magnus put his own hands over his and helped him get the glass to his lips. When he had drank it all Magnus made the glass disappear.

“Yes, you’re forgiven,” Magnus said lovingly, holding him close.

“I just….I just wanted you,” Alec tried to explain, his voice soft and hoarse as he leaned back against Magnus’ chest.

“Wanted me how, pet?” Magnus asked softly, stroking his hair lovingly.

“Forever,” Alec mumbled softly.

“I am yours forever,” Magnus promised and claimed his lips in a possessive yet tender kiss, filled with promise, love, hope and claim.

Alec smiled happily up at him and they sat like that for a while on the floor before Magnus snapped his fingers and they were now snuggling on the sofa. After a little while of Alec lying on Magnus’ chest while he was stroking his hair affectionately Alec slowly started to scoot further down the sofa. He looked up at Magnus with huge eyes, filled with longing and pleading as he undid the knot on Magnus’ robe. Magnus nodded his acceptance for him to continue. Thinking he knew where this was going Magnus was already half-hard when Alec pulled out his cock.

“Darling, you are exhausted,” Magnus said softly, stroking his cheek.

“I want to taste you. Please,” Alec pleaded as he put both hands on the base of his cock and sat up between his legs, Magnus moving to give him space.

“Alright. Go ahead,” Magnus agreed, trying to dampen his own desire so to not overwhelm him as he withdrew his hand.

Alec didn’t waste any time and had quickly taken him into his mouth and starting up a slow routine of going up and down, occasionally adding his lips and tongue and once in a while playing with his balls. Quickly Magnus was the one moaning loudly in pleasure, a hand fisting Alec’s hair, pulling tightly, forcing his head all the way down and up again. Alec smiled happily when he noticed his effect on Magnus.

“You taste so good,” Alec mumbled when he managed to come off his cock for two seconds, his eyes shining with desire and pleasure at being able to do this for Magnus.

Alec took a hand to cover the one Magnus had in his hair, indicating he could be rougher. Magnus wasted no time but started to facefuck him with a brutality that had Alec feeling used and loved and claimed; just what he wanted.

“Yes,” Alec mumbled when he managed to get a second of air before Magnus pushed him roughly all the way down on his cock.

Alec enjoyed the display of power and dominance and hummed against his cock, his eyes half-closed in pleasure and need. When Alec tasted pre-come on his tongue he knew Magnus was close so he intensified his licking, sucking and moaning around his cock, wanting to feel him, hear him as he came.

Magnus used his hard grip in Alec’s hair to pull him off his cock for a moment. He noticed Alec’s dazed look, swollen lips and the spit at the corners of his mouth. His eyes screamed need and his expression said sex louder than any pornography he had ever seen.

“I want you to fuck my throat so I can’t speak for days, please,” Alec begged, his eyes huge and filled with need.

“Use you, pet?” Magnus asked darkly.

“Please, use me,” Alec begged eagerly opening his mouth just as Magnus pushed his cock back inside.

“Fuck yes!” Magnus got out as Alec took him all the way down his throat, the warmth and heat overwhelming.

“Yes!” Alec mumbled eagerly when Magnus took pity on him and pulled him off his cock for less than two seconds before forcing him all the way down again.

“Enjoying it, pet?” Magnus asked knowingly as he kept fucking in and out of his mouth in a brutal pace, leaving Alec dizzy with desire.

“Yes, please,” Alec got out when he managed to pull off his cock for a few seconds, his eyes dark with desire.

“Yeah, I can tell,” Magnus said evilly, looking at Alec’s cock sticking out between the half-open robe, dripping pre-come. “No coming for you today though.”

“But Sir….” Alec protested, pulling momentarily off Magnus’ cock to whine.

Magnus pushed him all the way back on his cock and held him there, effectively silencing him.

“Consider it part of your punishment,” Magnus said darkly, his voice rough from holding back, from his burning need, knowing his order would only fuel Alec’s desire and as he had thought he could see Alec’s cock twist at the denial.

“Now, back to doing what those lips were made to do!” Magnus ordered harshly, his eyes and voice filled with lust.

Alec nodded eagerly but then smiled shyly at him as he revealed, “Yes, I love doing this for you.”

Magnus nodded in satisfaction before he pushed him all the way down again on his cock and held him there. He could feel Alec’s humming and pleasure against his cock and it fueled his desire at knowing he loved doing this for him so much.

“You feel so good around me,” Magnus rasped as he fucked in and out of his warm and eager mouth. “You were made for this; made for sucking my cock.”

“Yes. Made for you,” Alec managed to get out, his voice hoarse and abused, before Magnus pushed harshly back inside his mouth, hitting the back of his throat at each thrust.

Magnus began fucking him faster and faster, using a hard grip in his hair to guide him.

Just as he was exploding down Alec’s throat, his body flooding with endorphins, Magnus mumbled tenderly, affectionately, “Yes, my silly Nephilim. Made just for me.”

Alec eagerly swallowed everything he was given and kept licking, cleaning him up, until Magnus pulled back, feeling over-sensitive.

“You taste amazing. Like sulfur and spice,” Alec numbed hoarsely, full of need and desire, sounding almost drunk as he looked down at him.

“Like home,” Alec added longingly, huskily.

“Fuck, your mouth is like sin and heaven all in one,” Magnus mumbled, boneless, spent and happy when his brain would function again, cleaning everything up and rearranging his robe with a wave of his hand.

“Thank you,” Alec rasped hoarsely, his voice sounding weak and broken as he sat back up on his knees.

“I think I wrecked you,” Magnus said with no small amount of pride and arrogance as Alec crawled up to lie with his face on his chest.

Magnus closed his arms around him and held him close, kissing the top of his head

“Yes…but I loved it, Sir,” Alec said softly, his voice sounding as abused as it should.

“I know you did,” Magnus said with a smirk as he conjured up a glass of water and helped Alec drink it before making the glass disappear again.

“I am ready to sign the contract now,” Alec said quietly after they had been snuggling for a while.

Magnus did a hand gesture and two copies of the contract were on the coffee table next to them.

“Let’s have a look then,” Magnus said, grapping both copies and handing one to Alec, managing to move Alec so Magnus was spooning him from behind and they could still read the contracts, Magnus deciding to do so by having it magically float before his eyes while Alec held it in front of him as he pressed back against Magnus, enjoying feeling him against him.

“You changed Master to Sir,” Alec said with relief as he flipped through pages. Calling anyone master just seemed like….summoning a demon or something.

“You still didn’t tell me any hard limits. I have suggested some, page 4,” Magnus told him and Alec went to the correct page.

“Hard limits: See M.B., furthermore: Severe humiliation, degradation, tasks which can never be properly done,” Alec read up and looked at Magnus with a hint of surprise, pride and puzzlement.

“Is it not correct?” Magnus asked.

Alec nodded, a bit emotional at Magnus knowing him so well. “Yes. It’s correct.”

Magnus smiled contently at that.

“I was considering adding crawling but I am thinking it might not be out of the question. Is it…pup?” Magnus asked with a look of teasing and mischief.

Alec blushed and looked down for a moment, imagining himself crawling over to Magnus, to put his lips on his cock and…he was getting hard just thinking about it.

“I….no….It’s….We can try,” Alec said shyly, amazed at himself for being able to still be hesitant and shy around Magnus considering everything he had put himself through after the breakup. But then no one had mattered; only Magnus mattered.

“Well done, pretty boy,” Magnus said with a wide grin and Alec blushed prettily.

Alec’s eyes went to the next section of the contract.

“It also specifies that you will take care of me financially, emotionally, sexually, physically…” Alec said it as he was reading it, a bit amazed. It basically put it on Magnus’ shoulders to take care of all of his needs – from his happiness to his health. It seemed like a lot of responsibility.

“I will take good care of you. Always,” Magnus promised solemnly and Alec nodded, smiling a bit shyly; he had no doubt about that.

Alec then went to the next section of the contract. “Rewards.”

“I added a few rewards I think you might like though,” Magnus said with a smile.

“Why is exercising and archery practice under rewards?” Alec asked as soon as he read it, giving him a confused look.

“Rewards for being good,” Magnus elaborated.

“So I don’t always get time to exercise normally…” Alec asked hesitantly. He had had a strict routine of exercise and training since childhood. He wasn’t sure he could stop it.

“You get time for exercising but you did use it as a way to hurt yourself so it will be limited to what is described in the contract. This is extra time for more training and archery practice,” Magnus elaborated.

“A reward you have listed is also training with my parabatai,” Alec said with surprise.

He missed training, normal training as well, with Jace. They were parabatai; two parts of one soul. He couldn’t live without him just as well as he couldn’t live without Magnus. No matter how fucked up it had all became he knew that much.

Magnus noticed how tense and uncomfortable Alec looked and how he was avoiding his eyes.

“Alexander, we have been over this thing with Jace and you. You were both in a bad place. It was sex. It happened. I’ve been there,” Magnus said kindly, matter of fact.

“You are parabatai. I may not be a Shadowhunter but I know it means you guys need to stay in touch. So since he is better mentally and you will be too I think it would be safe to slowly start up training together again. Only things without direct contact like archery or throwing knives; I think hand to hand combat have to come much later so it’s not triggering for you in terms of using it to self-harm,” Magnus added seriously.

Alec gave him a surprised look. “How did you know I did that? That I used training with Jace for that?”

“Well, you just did, darling,” Magnus said with a sad smile, having Alec shake his head at him in amazement at his trickery.

Magnus added honestly, reflectively, “I had a feeling you would first have tried to get him to hurt you in other ways. Your go to drug of choice is pain; not sex.”

“Thank you for understanding,” Alec said heartfelt, his voice and eyes filled with emotions. “You make everything sound easy.”

“Well, you seem to want to complicate everything so I have to counter that,” Magnus teased.

“Sorry, Sir,” Alec said softly, looking down for a moment.

“It’s quite ok, Alexander,” Magnus said softly, kissing the top of his head.

With a wave of his hand Magnus magically added his signature on both copies of the contract. He made a pen appear in Alec’s hand and he sighed both copies too. Then Magnus made both copies disappear together with the pen.

Then he turned around and shifted position so Alec could look up at his face.

“I was thinking of something you said,” Magnus said thoughtfully.

“Yes?” Alec prompted curiously.

“Are you afraid I will leave you again?” Magnus asked seriously.

Seeing Alec consider it and something flashed in his eyes that normally meant he was preparing to lie made Magnus caution him with a warning edge to his voice, “Lie to me and you won’t like the consequences.”

“Yes,” Alec whispered hoarsely, brokenly. He was still afraid of that; likely always would be.

Magnus nodded understanding. With a determined look he made a hand gesture and a beautiful leader collar appeared in his hand. It had golden letters saying M.B. on it and tons of small diamonds everywhere. It was breathtaking. Alec looked from the collar to Magnus and back again. How was a gift of clothing going to make him feel more secure Magnus would never leave him?

“If you choose to wear this collar, my collar, you will know you always belong to me,” Magnus said in a tone of voice filled with love and affection, his eyes filled with emotions.

Magnus had no doubts; this Alec, the Alec he was now, so eager to please, wanting to put him before and above anything else, so submissive yet still so innocent – like sin and ecstasy wrapped into one....

Alec had become everything Magnus had ever wanted or needed. His desire to claim him as his, mark him, possess him.... he had never felt a pull, a need, a drive, as strongly as this. He wasn't sure what he would do if Alec rejected him, rejected his collar, his offer. He hoped neither of them ever needed to find out.

“This collar signals not only that you belong to me and submit to me but how important you are to me,” Magnus said lovingly, his eyes intense as he looked at Alec for his reaction.

“Like…a marriage?” Alec asked hesitantly, touching the collar with shaking fingers, his voice filled with awe and longing.

Magnus nodded, smiling tenderly, “Yes, like a marriage. We would belong exclusively to each other and everyone who saw it would know you belonged to me.”

“And…then you won’t ever leave me?” Alec asked in a small and broken voice, his eyes huge and pleading as he looked at Magnus.

Magnus couldn't help but smile at Alec's needy voice, his desire to please him, to have him near. It was everything he had ever wanted and so much more. The boy was perfection!

“If you keep to the contract and follow the rules; no never! That’s why they are there,” Magnus reassured him, wanting to say he would stay regardless but knowing that wasn’t what any of them needed any longer nor, as their break-up had proven, was it actually true and Alec deserved the truth.

Alec smiled joyfully. This was the best day of his life; he couldn’t believe it was happening. Maybe the demon had killed him and he was dead but in that case he didn’t care.

“I would like the collar, Sir,” Alec got out, a lump in his throat, his voice filled with emotions. He would belong to Magnus, forever! It was the most amazing words he had heard in what felt like forever. He had longed for nothing else during their break-up than for Magnus to want him to be his and he didn’t care how he would be his as long as he was.

Magnus could have died at hearing those words; he finally had Alec and they were together in a way that made him unafraid to show his darker impulses and desires. He no longer felt like he needed to pretend to just be Magnus; he could be Prince of Edom Magnus too. He could be all of himself. But only ever with Alec. He was sure that boy was perfection incarnate.

“This doesn’t mean I won’t one day ask you to marry me,” Magnus warned with a loving grin, making Alec smile back. Warmth and joy washed over Magnus in waves. How had he ever let this boy go? He was life itself. He was everything. At least he was now. After everything Alec had been through he had become everything Magnus wanted and needed; not just his human side but his demonic side as well. He was perfect like this and made just for him; made from him and of him.

Ok, maybe then the day that Magnus would propose would come close in terms of his favorite day, Alec thought with wonder and shock, finding it hard to believe.

“You will wear it proudly?” Magnus asked softly as he motioned for Alec to kneel before him next to the sofa.

Alec quickly knelt at the indicated spot, looking up at him with misty eyes. Magnus sat up and closed the collar with magic around his neck, testing with a finger it wasn’t too tight and that the velvet inside seemed nice and soft against Alec’s throat.

“Yes, Sir,” Alec quickly agreed, his voice filled with love when he touched the collar.

“And when you return to work?” Magnus questioned.

Alec shrugged; it was unimportant and very far away for now. “Yes, and if someone makes a fuss about it I will find employment elsewhere.”

“My pretty boy. My brave archer,” Magnus marveled as he drew back and admired the kneeling Nephilim with his collar around his neck.

So pretty; everything he had secretly always wanted but told himself Alec would never want. Now Alec was here, looking up at him with huge but happy eyes, filled with need and desire. He was everything he had ever wanted; he as just perfect like this.

“But don’t worry; I will glamour it. I don’t want you to have to choose between this and your work.” Magnus said softly as he stroked his cheek tenderly.

“It’s beautiful and soft on the inside,” Alec marveled happily, smiling at Magnus’ concern for his work situation though a bit surprised as he himself couldn’t care less. As long as he had Magnus he didn’t care about anything else.

“It should match the wearer, darling,” Magnus praised and Alec blushed again.

“Thank you, Sir,” Alec said as he ran his fingers over it, enjoying the feel and weight of it.

“You officially belong to me now, Alexander,” Magnus said softly, his voice filled with possession, pride and affection. “And I belong to you. Always and till the end of time.”

“I have always belonged to you and always will,” Alec said softly, breathless, his eyes misty from hearing Magnus call him his and say that he belonged to him.

Magnus pulled him close with a hand behind his neck and Alec went willingly, eagerly.

“Always mine. My Nephilim!” Magnus proclaimed strongly before pressing their lips together in a strong and bruising kiss, filled with possession and love, need and affection. When Magnus drew back Alec looked dazed at him, making Magnus smile contently at being able to do that to him.

“Come,” Magnus said softly and helped pull Alec to his feet and then opened his arms. Alec eagerly went into his embrace and they laid on the sofa together, Alec lying on Magnus’ chest.

“It was been some exhausting days, Alexander. Sleep now. I will look after you. Now and always,” Magnus swore as he kissed the top of his head tenderly.

“I love you, Sir. So much,” Alec proclaimed lovingly, his voice sleepy, his eyelids heavy. He was indeed tired, it had been some long days, so much had happened.

“I love you too, Alexander,” Magnus replied, his voice thick with emotions, considering telling Alec he could say Magnus now but disregarded it as unimportant.

“Sleep now, angel. I’ve got you,” Magnus said warmly, lovingly.

Alec smiled contently, happy at hearing Magnus say that. His body and mind were finally able to start to let go and drift off to sleep, safe inside Magnus’ embrace.

They had almost lost everything, Alec had almost broken but they were together now and love would heal them. Yes, it wasn’t light or fluffy and it wasn’t what Alec had thought love and lust was when he was a boy. Nor even what he had thought love, sex and lust was all about before the break-up.

However, what they had now was real and raw; it wasn’t a fairytale but it was real, it was raw and it was right there. Magnus was everything he had ever wanted and ever would want. He needed to know Magnus would never leave him. Finally, now, wearing the collar he had given him, remembering the contract…he felt sure and comforted in the knowledge he never would. All he had to do was to obey and everything he had ever wanted would be his. He could do that. He could do this.

Alec was smiling as he drifted off to sleep and so was Magnus as he held him close, building walls of dreams around each other.

**The End**

**Who wants a part 4 of this series? Let me know in the comments and let me know if you have any requests; I will fulfill them if I can :)**

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is worshipped and will make my day so please?  
> Or kudos if you are shy; also very much loved!  
> Only I could do a dark Malec love series based on a Christmas song! Broken Angel, the series, is loosely inspired by the song “Fairytale Of New York” by The Pogues. In the song the main character self-destructs and never recovers. After careful reflection I couldn’t leave Alec to that fate and thus we got a series instead. :)


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